Club Pinkie Pie
by llxxRawr its Beansxxll
Summary: Based on 'Club Spongebob'. I own nothing.
1. Chapter 1

It is a beautiful morning in Ponyville. The birds are chirping, the parasprites are happily buzzing about, and Trixie has mounted a bicycle and is riding away from her trailer.

She stops when she hears the incessant giggling of two ponies she particularly despises coming from a small treehouse.

Pinkie: Wey, wook! It's Wixie!

Pinkie and Derpy share a giggle out of that little crack, angering Trixie.

Pinkie: Wixie's woing to do spwells!

The laughter continues, infuriating Trixie even more.

Derpy: Where's…she gonna do 'em? In the Everfwee Fowest?

The continuous cackling sends Trixie into a rage.

Trixie: What's that supposed to mean?! Some kind of stupid secret code?

Pinkie: We can't tell you because you're not a member of the club.

Trixie: Oh, yeah? What's it take to be a member? Besides being a moron?

Trixie softly chuckled to herself over the joke she had just made.

Pinkie: Sorry, Trixie, but you couldn't get in even if you tried!

Trixie: Well, Trixie will have you know that she is a member of over 20 exclusive clubs all over Equestria!

Derpy: What'd she say?

Pinkie: I dunno, something about her hat?

Derpy: Trixie, you and your hat will definitely not fit in!

Trixie: Oh, what do you two foals know about fitting in?!

She dismounts her bicycle and starts climbing up the tree that their treehouse is perched on.

Trixe: You should be begging…the Great and Powerful Trixie…to join!

The two ponies in the clubhouse try to reason with her not to come in, but by the time they finish, she has already stuck her rear end in and successfully enters the club.

When she finally gains entrance, she finds that there is nothing special about it: Just a plain, very small fort that is extremely cramped.

Trixie: Well, this is stupid. There's no…room up here!

She tries to stretch her hind legs, pushing Pinkie and Derpy against the wall.

Derpy: That's what we've been trying to tell you!

Pinkie: Trixie, we've been stuck up here for three days.

Derpy: We told you you wouldn't fit in.

Trixie sneers.

Pinkie: Well, since you're here, Trixie, we'll give you the new member initiation. Are you ready, Derpy?

Derpy: Ready!

Pinkie and Derpy: (singing) _Welcome to our club! Welcome to our club! Welcome Trixie welcome Trixie welcome Trixie welcome Trixie-_

She can't take anymore and covers their mouths.

Trixie: Shut your half-wit plotholes!

She grabs onto the branches of the tree and tries her best to pull herself down, bending the tree in the process.

Trixie: Trixie does not…nor will she ever…want to be a member…of your stupid club!

A branch snaps along the way, letting the tree act as a catapult and sending the clubhouse flying into the air.

Trixie: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA H!

Bon Bon: Ooohh…

Lyra: Make a wish, honey.

The clubhouse finally lands in the middle of a deserted area of the Everfree Forest.

Pinkie and Derpy stand up and yelp like Indians.

Pinkie and Derpy: WHOOO! WHOO! AGAIN AGAIN! WOOLOOLOOLOOLOOLOOLOO!

Trixie: Oh, no. That didn't just happen. Please tell Trixie that didn't happen!

Derpy: What happened?

Trixie: Where are we? We're lost! There's no way out! Stuck…in the middle of nowhere…with Pinkie Pie and Derpy!

They wave at her.

Trixie: Oh, why does every 22 minutes of Trixie's life be filled with misery! WHY?!

Pinkie: Oh, cheer up, Trixie. It could be worse.

Derpy: Yeah, you could have bad magic and a big hat.

Zoom in on Trixie's head, which deflates.

Trixie: Well, this is the end.

She slumps down on the ground and waits for death to creep in.

Pinkie: No, it's not, Trixie.

Derpy stops building coffins for the three of them.

Derpy: It's not?

Pinkie: Come on, girls, we'll be fine! As long as we stick together! Remember, we're a club!

Pinkie and Derpy: WOOLOOLOOLOOLOOLOO!

Pinkie: And besides, we have this!

She pulls out an mediocre-looking horseshoe from out of nowhere.

Trixie: What's that?

Derpy: The Magic Horseshoe! Ask it something, ask it something!

Pinkie: Magic Horseshoe…will I ever get married?

She pulls the string and listens in close.

Magic Horseshoe: (soft male voice) _Maybe someday._

Pinkie and Derpy: Ooooohhh…

Trixie: You've got to be kidding! That is just a STUPID toy! How can that possibly help us?!

Pinkie: (gasp) Trixie, you must never question the wisdom of the Magic Horseshoe! The club always takes its advice before we do anything.

Derpy: The horseshoe knows all!

Pinkie: Oh, Magic Horseshoe, what do we need to do to get out of the Everfree Forest?

She pulls the string and listens attentively to instructions from the toy horseshoe.

Magic Horseshoe: _Nothing._

Derpy: THE HORSESHOE HAS SPOKEN!

Trixie: Nothing?! We can't just sit here and do nothing! Derpy, the Great and Powerful Trixie commands you to use your wings and…

Her words go unheeded, as the ponies listen to the horseshoe and sit there, doing nothing.

Trixie: GRR! Trixie cannot believe you two are going to take advice…from a TOY!

They continue not to listen to her.

Trixie: Alright, alright, alright! Trixie doesn't need your help. She's going to find her way back to sanity! But don't you two sad clowns come crying to her when your circus tent comes crashing down!

She trots away into the forest, determined to get back to civilization and chuckling to herself over the sad clowns joke.

Her trot soon turns into a full gallop, as the scared Trixie tries to find her way out of the dark forest and jumping at every strange sound.

Trixie: What was that?! Trixie was already here! Which way should she go?! She's LOST!

She trips over a log and lays on the ground, crying.

Trixie: Ohh, she's hopelessly lost! She'll never get out of here!

Suddenly, she sees a bright light in the distance that reignites her hope of getting out of the forest. She runs toward the light of hope, laughing all the way.

Trixie: She's FREE! Take that, Pinkie and Derpy! Hahahahahah!

Her celebration is halted when she sees Pinkie and Derpy beside her, still doing absolutely nothing.

Trixie: Ohh…there's no way out of here.

A few days later, Pinkie and Derpy are still motionless. Trixie, at a campsite she has set up, throws a stick at Derpy's head, mocking her and Pinkie.

Trixie: How's it going over there in Club Dung-for-Brains? Mm mm mm. The Great and Powerful Trixie is hungry. She wonders what's on the menu for Club Trixie tonight?

She finds a bug scurrying on the ground and stomps on it with her hoof.

Trixie: Aaaahh….

She throws the bug on a pan and trots over to Pinkie.

Trixie: Ooh…Doesn't that smell good, Pinkie? You haven't eaten in days…

She turns to Derpy.

Trixie: What about you, Derpy? A big girl's gotta eat…Well, you can't have any.

She selfishly holds the pan away from them.

Trixie: And do you know why, Pinkie? Because your club president is a HORSESHOE!

She shakes her butt in front of Pinkie, who is not paying attention to her at all.

Trixie: If you'd listened to Trixie, you'd have food, shelter, and a roaring fire. But instead, you listen to a talking piece of iron…that tells you NOTHING!

She trots back to Club Trixie.

Trixie: As if the answers to all of your problems will fall right out of the sky! Hahahahahahahha! Fall right out of the sky!

Cut to Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy carrying a heavy load of picnic supplies.

Rainbow Dash: Fluttershy, we're falling right out of the sky! We've gotta drop the load!

She undoes the ropes holding the supplies to their backs and lets them fall into the Everfree Forest, allowing them to fly safely away.

The food, blankets, tables, and even a fire land right next to Pinkie and Derpy in perfect order, awaking them from their dormancy.

Pinkie and Derpy: Praise the Magic Horseshoe! WOOLOOLOOLOOLOOLOO!

The bug in Trixie's pan suddenly awakens, hits her in the head with a stick, and hops away.

Meanwhile, Pinkie and Derpy are enjoying their food and laughing. Trixie approaches Pinkie munching on a cupcake, coveting all of their supplies.

Trixie: Hey uhh, Pinkie…That sure is a lot of food you've got there…

Pinkie: It's a gift from the Magic Horseshoe.

Trixie: Everything sure looks delicious. Ooh, smoked hay! Trixie's favorite!

She reaches for them, but Derpy sucks them up like a vacuum cleaner and devours them.

Trixie: Hey, uhh, Pinkie, you know Trixie was just kidding before earlier and, she means, she's still a part of the club and, she means, the club has to stick together, and uhh…uhh…

Pinkie: Trixie…

Trixie: Yes, Pinkie?

Pinkie: Once a member, always a member!

Pinkie and Derpy clink their glasses triumphantly.

Pinkie and Derpy: To the club! WOOLOOLOOLOOLOOLOO!

Trixie: Yeah, woolooloo…Now, if you'll excuse Trixie…

She zips over to the picnic table and the delicious food before her.

Trixie: What should she eat first?! The hay spaghetti, the dandelions, the soup, the canned cherries?!

Pinkie: Why don't you ask…the Magic Horseshoe, Trixie?

Trixie: Yeah, like that'll happen. Right after she consults the Magic Hoofnail.

She reaches for some food, but Pinkie and Derpy pull the table away.

Pinkie: (gasp) Trixie, are you questioning the authority of the Magic Horseshoe?! The Horseshoe is the one who gave us this banquet! This copyrighted horseshoe is the quarterstone of our organization!

Derpy: Maybe she's not a sister.

Trixie: Hehe, you girls have it all wrong! Trixie loves this little piece of iron!

She caresses the Magic Horseshoe precariously in her arms.

Trixie: Hello there. Uhh, Magic Horseshoe, Trixie was just wondering…should she have the hay spaghetti or the dandelions?

She pulls the string.

Magic Horsehsoe: _Neither._

Trixie: Oh. Well, what about the soup?

Magic Horseshoe: _I don't think so._

Trixie: Can she have anything to eat?

Magic Horseshoe: _No._

Trixie: No?! What do you mean, no?! She's starving here!

Derpy: Here, lemme try.

She takes the Magic Horseshoe from Trixie.

Derpy: Magic Horseshoe, can Trixie have some of this yummy-delicious super terrific sandwich?

She pulls the string.

Magic Horseshoe: _No._

Derpy: Hmm…Can I have some of this yummy-delicious super terrific sandwich?!

Magic Horsehsoe: _Yes._

Derpy: Alright!

She inhales the sandwich just as fast as she ate the hay and burps loudly.

Derpy: Sorry, Trixie.

Trixie: Give me that!

She snatches the horseshoe from Derpy's hooves.

Trixie: Can Trixie have something to eat?!

Magic Horseshoe: _No._

Trixie: Can Trixie have something to eat?!

Magic Horseshoe: _No._

Trixie: Can Trixie have something to eat?!

Magic Horseshoe: _No._

Trixie: Can't you say anything else but no?!

Magic Horseshoe: _Try asking again._

Trixie: Can Trixie have something to eat?

Magic Horseshoe: (insulting, sarcastic tone) _No._

Trixie has had enough and goes into a rage, growling and frothing at the mouth.

Pinkie: Trixie, are you alright?

She starts to shake violently with anger.

Derpy: Maybe we should ask the horseshoe if she's okay.

Female Voice: Hello? Anyone there? Hello? HELLO?

Daring Do suddenly bursts through the trees and sees the filthy conditions the three are living in.

Daring Do: Do you folks need some help?

Trixie: Trixie's SAVED!

She runs up to the Pegasus explorer and hugs her tightly.

Trixie: You don't know how happy she is to see you! She's been stranded out here for weeks with these two plot heads and their magic horseshoe!

Daring Do: Magic…Horse…Shoe? YOU MEAN LIKE THIS?!

She makes a bucktoothed face and holds out a horseshoe of her own.

Pinkie and Derpy: The Magic Horseshoe! A club member!

Daring Do: WOOLOOLOOLOOLOO!

Pinkie and Derpy: WOOLOOLOOLOOLOOLOOLOO!

Trixie just stares at them, making a face and in shock.

Trixie: Abra…

Daring Do: My horseshoe told me to come and save you guys!

Pinkie, Derpy, and Daring Do: Hooray for the magic horseshoes!

Daring Do: Alright, Magic Horseshoe. What do we do now?

She explorer Pegasus pony pulls the string and listens to instructions from her leader.

Magic Horseshoe: _Nothing._

Pinkie, Derpy and Daring Do: All hail the Magic Horseshoe!

The three all sit down on the ground and do as the Magic Horseshoe commands them.

Trixie crawls up to them, still in shock.

Trixie: ALL HAIL THE MAGIC HORSESHOE!

She sits down and joins the club.


	2. Chapter 2

Waah-waah-waaaaaaahh...

Kevin: WOULD YOU CUT THAT OUT?!


End file.
